May and June

Friday, May 16th

What a lovely, beautiful day. I'm sitting in the middle of the Smith's acreage- and what delight I find in the outdoors and the wide, spacious countryside. Being here, in such silence, feeds my soul like nothing else can. No other music but that of the birds and the frogs quite belongs- except something completely pure and altogether heavenly. Part of me just wishes to cartwheel around, laugh, pick dandelions... My heart feels a if it has been opened to a whole new world ovf love, joy, beauty. I'm learning such lessons from my books and from the mentors You've placed in my life, along with life experiences and the simple tasks of everyday living. Help me to continue to seek Your sweet presence and be attune to Your grace working in my life at all times.

Sunday, May 18th

I LOVED Prince Caspian. The Narnia series and its music captures the essence of eternity like few things on this earth do. I came away from the movie with such joy in my heart, wanting to shout, "I GET IT!" and wanting to somehow preserve its lesson that this world is not my home in each moment I'm alive. Lord, this world seems such a far cry from the days of old- the battlefield remove and its heroes sunk into modern day complacency. And yet I know that today is still an adventure, and it would appear that the chief battleground is in the hearts of men.

Tuesday, May 20th

Lord, would You search my heart and lay waste to all that is impure and unholy? I so desire to be a livinge xample for You, and I mess things up dreadfully on a regular basis. Sometimes I think I don't quite catch sight of You- like I've backslided or something. Miss America is still as much a goal as ever, though I'm beginning to recognize more and more the sheer magnitude of the whole pageant industry.

Monday, June 16th

Jesus, can I be Your best friend, really and truly? I want to be close to You again- I know I've strayed the last month or so, and I long to be back in Your arms again. I have so far to go and so much to learn! Teach me to be like You. I so admire Mother Teresa- help me to be like her in the way that she wholeheartedly pursued You and the life work You called her to. Help me to break free to You- surround me with Your love and Your presence and help me radiate that to others, especially my family.

Tuesday, June 17th

Lord, wherever my young man is, please help us both to learn the lesson necessary in this season of preparation that one day we may have a thriving, beautiful and You-honoring marriage. I long to be on intimate terms with You, to have You in each moment of the day, to never forget who I am living for. I do so many things solely for my own benefit, and I know that to be Your disciple, I need to be a servant to others- would You place opportunities in my way to obey You and love Your people? I do earnestly desire a love relationship with a man, someone to love and cherish, my best friend and lifetime love. But I still have so much to learn- about You, about me, about life, what it takes to make a home and raise a family. I'm in no hurry, really! I need to be turned inside out and upside down- please continue to do Your "good work" in me and change my heart a little more each day. Show me the way to You and make my every desire to come from You. I seek Your face, Lor, though I know this path towards You will be difficult. You are more than worth it.